Housewife. It’s something of a dirty word in our society. You only ever hear it used with modifiers like Desperate, Naughty, Real. Housewife is a word people use to describe others, usually disparagingly.
So when I started to comtemplate leaving my job, not working, staying at home, I had to ask myself: What would that make me? A housewife, I guess. Now, I know plenty of Stay At Home Moms. A lot has been done in recent years to make the choice to stay home with one’s children an acceptable one. One can stay home and take care of one’s kids and still be a feminist. But I don’t have kids. Frankly, I don’t want any, neither does my husband, and besides, it’s not a good idea for me to have any right now. So, the question arose: can one be a Stay At Home Wife and still be a feminist?
Obviously, I think the answer is yes. December 18, 2009 was my last day at work. As I type, my husband is at work and I am home. I’m still in the hazy, in between state of the temporarily unemployed. It still feels like a vacation, a holiday, summer break. I haven’t entered fully into the housewifely mindset. But bit by bit, I’m starting to experiment in a domestic way. Monday, I cooked a roast in a crock pot. Yesterday, I tried to make Mojo de Ajo and burned the hell out of the garlic.
On Sunday my husband and I had our first, ahem, discussion regarding How This Will Work. He mentioned several things I need to get done this week. I informed him that this would not work if it’s a matter of him telling me to do something and me following orders. This will only work if I do things as and when I want to do them. I have a million things I want and need to do, but if I try to do them all at once, I will go insane. So now, every time he mentions something that needs doing, I give him A Look and he backs off.
So…this will indeed be an adventure. There’s a lot to be said about why I made the choice that I did, but I’ll save that for another day. Or several days. It’s a long story.